Warning, mindless word vomit ahead
I’ve been blogging in Second Life for a while now. I started out on here… A decision that I regretted shortly after. I’m not hating on the website in any way – it’s a good site and it certainly gets the job done… But it never felt like me. I never felt connected… I never enjoyed posting. I enjoyed taking my photo, processing it, and then posting it on Flickr. But when it came time to posting my credits on WordPress? I procrastinated at all costs – and yes, that includes dancing.
So why did I choose WordPress? When I first went to make my blog – I looked at all available blogging platforms, including Tumblr. However I chose WordPress because I wanted to be a ‘good blogger’ – and it was the most popular among Second Life bloggers.
Blogging was a challenge for me in general. I started out blogging because I love photography, both in the real world, and in virtual worlds. Like everyone, I started out with zero sponsors and so my blog was simply me doing photographs while wearing items that I already owned, or that I went out and bought for myself. It took me quite some time to start gathering sponsors, which was my fault – I wasn’t a consistent blogger because I was never happy with my photos or ability in editing, and I was constantly deleting my photos or going for months without posting… This resulted in me losing the few sponsors that I had gained LOL
I actually gave up blogging completely for a while and focused solely on my other passion in Second Life – role-playing. But my love for photography slowly pushed itself back into my life and I began doing pictures again – now with my best friend. Over a few months we both encouraged each other as well as learned from each other. He was soon encouraging me to start blogging again. I did. It was in November 2016 that I really started blogging.
This time I was passionate, as well as consistent. I was actually having fun. I think this showed as I began gaining sponsors. Shortly after that, I started getting bigger sponsors and my confidence grew immensely. I’ve always been extremely hard on myself, I’m a perfectionist… And I very much self-doubt. But I thought… If these stores are asking me to blog for them, despite my small following.. Then I must not be completely terrible.
For me (and most of us) blogging became a job. It made sense… I don’t have a lot of money to spend in Second Life and I love doing photographs. Blogging was the clear answer.
But I wasn’t happy. Most of that was on me… I wanted a style that was me. I felt like my blog and my photos were all over the place and that nothing was cohesive. This drove me crazy… My solution to this was to try and streamline my photos all to one size. This was the worst decision that I’ve made (worse than blogging on WordPress) limiting my photos to one size is a rule… I don’t do well with rules or limits. My mind is an ever evolving catastrophism…And I tried to cage it. I pushed back so hard against myself – and you can see that catastrophic evolution on my Flickr (for now – because those photos probably won’t last LOL)
But I’ve learned that I am all over the place. That my mind is a messy place filled with lights and color that I want the world to see. I’m trying to accept this. I’ve also learned that I’m extremely adaptable… I had a ton of sponsors, and sometimes the styles were just not me – but I was able to still create a scene and photo that matched the style. But it wasn’t me.
I’m only happy when I’m connected to my work. I’ve learned that – yes.. I can keep up with 30 + sponsors. And yes… I can create styles and scenes ranging from avant garde to kawai. But I’m not happy… While my mind might be a ever jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas… It is cohesive in the sense that – it’s channeling me. I want to tell stories with my pictures… I want to take you places. I want to express myself by the fashion I wear and the cozy corners that I create.
Perhaps it’s silly to say… But I feel as if I’ve finally found myself in Second Life blogging. I’ve began making changes over the past month – I dropped sponsors that I could just no longer commit to with my new outlook. Now I’m migrating my blog to a platform that I’ve always felt more connected to – along with a new blog name that better projects me.
I freed myself of my own rules and the pressing voices in my head.
I’ve let loose my wild and let myself be free.
To my current sponsors: Thank you. I know I’m still slow with posting, I’m still a perfectionist. I will always promise to do better. Thank you for staying with me ❤
To all the sponsors that I let down, or had to drop: Thank you. Thank you for the wonderful opportunity to be able to blog for you ❤ You gave me the courage and confidence to be where I am now. I wish all of you the best of luck.
To anyone that has read this far: You get a cookie LOL – I hope that you are ready for an adventure and ready to get lost in life on my new blog
I won’t be deleting my WordPress, and I’ll continue to post on it for the next few months just to give everyone the chance to move over.